Dinghy sailing for all

This week’s episode of Takeshi’s Castle water sports provided some thrilling racing for the lone spectator on the promenade-who was that you were waving to Hannah?- , St Mildred’s having taken their inmates to some event at Croke Park for the day. 

The Emerald guards were depleted again with Sarah off chasing her horse around Anglesey and Elfryn away with the Army Cadets battling the insurgent gorse bushes in Brecon- so a big thanks to Peter for stepping in to assist on the safety boat. 

Competition is hotting up and yet another new craft has appeared in the fleet with New Guy Dave the Wilmslow Bandit, unveiling his new boat which he blagged from some pensioner in the midlands. Apparently she had been fretting about what to do with it after her family were wiped out in the last foot in mouth epidemic and as she was approaching her 98^th birthday, he convinced her she was too old to sail it herself.

Anyway, Dave kindly offered to dispose of it for her and not only did he not charge her, he actually paid a little over the laser book price for it! (The Laser Book, Harper & Collins, £3.99 on Amazon).

With 8 lasers on the start line, the wind was, to say the least, capricious, and followed the old custom of veering or backing several points immediately after each of the competitors had been given the course. 

Not that it mattered to Cogger who, although only in the assessment stage of gender re-assignment, is already experiencing buoy trouble and selected a start line of his own giving him the opportunity of perfecting his 360 -start again manoeuvres. 

Unusually this week, all the tension and drama was focused on the finish line and instead of the usual drawn out parade, the Emerald Guards enjoyed some close finishes and were able to appreciate the subtle humour and good natured jests of the competitors, not to mention their knife and axe throwing skills and the impugned dubious ancestry declarations that were traded.

Craig was keen to display his new and highly honed tactical skills, but since he didn’t have any he settled for forming the ‘Lets push Cogger of the finish Line Glee Club’. His successful tactic was emulated by Dave in the following race to the 2 party harmony of ‘Move over Darling’ from the Emerald Guards.
As Cogger's cries of 'starboard' were ignored by the guards in their MOORED  safety boat, he attempted to swipe them with his boom but only succeeded in adding another little character feature to the engine casing. 

An offer of free membership to the club for the first 1000 applicants has now closed due to over subscription in spite of both ferry operators’ applications being refused.

Conditions seemed to favour Mike on the day but Phil and Tom were both in aggressive mood and put in some close finishes. Elsewhere in the pack, Hannah was delighted and somewhat excited to finish “1^st in a radial!” as she exclaimed on the finish line. A bit reminiscent of Phil’s “1^st in a Solo!”, but a good performance none the less. Alex, after putting some time in as back marker, steadily reduced his time differences on each race until he finally pulled out the stops and beat Craig, YES_ALEX BEAT CRAIG, across the finish line.

When Craig luffed Cogger in to the committee boat finish everybody was diving into the rule books,

1.       He didn’t ask for water but was definitely ahead.

2.        Was Craig sailing above his proper course ?.

3.        Should Cogger have gybed onto starboard earlier but Craig was all over his transom?

4.       When Cogger tried to do his turn’s he had finished so did he have to recross the finishing line and then do his turns and then finish ?

5.        Far too much brain over load .

6.       Cogger did the Granddad thing and retired to read the rule books .

7.        And discarded the result anyway.